The Neighbour

Last night our next door neighbour died in a car accident.

Within 30 minutes, it seemed, the community knew and supported the family in whatever way they saw fit - money donations, making chai, or just going round and being with the family to grieve as soon as they heard.

Apparently he was a lovely man, the father in law to one of our mission staff.

He was riding on his motorbike and hit by another car, he died instantly.

Since then all we have heard is the family mourning. All through the night we have heard, crying, wailing, screaming and shouting.  It literally brings the reality of the situation home to us. There’s none of that British "putting on a brave face" stuff.  Death seems all too common here; In fact it is such a reality people live with that they don’t seem to fear it like we do. Nor are they shocked by it.

Although it's uncomfortable for us to hear the cries, I think it is right that people scream at the top of their voices for as long as they need to, having complete freedom to express their grief. I know if we acted like this in our culture people would say we have lost it. But really, what is worse than the death of a loved one, and, in a time of mourning what is a more appropriate thing to do than wail and cry and scream?

The boy and the lollipop.

The Mission I am working for (www.icfem-mission.org) does such amazing work, and it seems like things are really happening at the moment. I do wonder what would happen to so many people in Western Kenya, if this mission were not here.

Last week "Wheels For The World" another great charity from the UK, teamed up with us to provide and distribute wheelchairs. I was lucky enough to witness the distribution one day, at the IcFEM headquarters, where hundreds of people showed up in their hope to get a chair. Some turned up in broken and torn chairs, some crawled and others were carried.

It’s fair to say that I felt pretty insignificant that day…what need!  And yet how on earth can I help? Having no medical or technical ability I felt bad that I couldn’t even talk to these people, since I could barely speak their local "Bukusu" language.

After a long day of massive blessings, the 83 chairs were all distributed. And 83 people encouraged and given a new hope… but 83 wasn’t enough.

Some of us, who were observing what was going on from the sidelines, cowered as we watched the team go round, one by one breaking the bad news to people that were going home empty handed.

I stood and watched the sad news being delivered to the mother of a little boy - she too would be carrying her son home in her arms and not in a chair because all the children’s chairs had run out. The little boy's face changed when she explained to him, he seemed to understand that it was bad news. The next to receive the sad news was a M’zee (an old tall bearded man) he also graciously nodded with acceptance when he was told… it went on and on. I went back to watching the small boy, who just sat on his mother's lap as she sweetly smiled at the boy and kissed his head as a tear rolled quietly rolled down her cheeks. Like all of us, I wanted to do something but had absolutely nothing - nothing, except a lollipop! I walked over to the boy rather sheepishly aware that this consolation prize may be construed as an insensitive and pathetic effort to console someone…. but I had to do something.

I didn’t expect the little chap's face to light up quite so much -  what a beautiful big smile this little boy had! He had come out of the discouragement he had just experienced, with all the implications it meant for his life without a chair, and seen joy in a 5 bob lollipop. Equally moving was the way his mother smiled and said "Thank-you" to me. What was amazing was that the smile stayed on his face until I went home, and he waved at me every time I passed... 

How humbled I was! 

Of course the two don’t compare.. but I learned two things that day…
1) like the little boy, we should focus on what we have and not what we need or want; and
2) we should never allow ourselves to feel insignificant. We always have a part to play, no matter how small we feel, we can always do something.

The "Wheels Team" distributed 218 chairs in 3 days.

Please, if you know any children with wheelchairs encourage them to look after those chairs and when they grow out of them, they can be used to bless others, very far away, who need them.  "Wheels For The World" need more chairs, especially children’s wheelchairs.

Above Michael (Children's Pastor) takes the chance to do a puppet show for all the children waiting for chairs...

Right: Some of the happy customers going home with their new chairs. 

After two years…..

Well a blank page and over 2 years have passed since my last blog entry . . . . . 

 

Where shall I start?   In all honesty I didn’t realise anyone actually ever read this, it was only till I stopped. that I found out that some do…Thanks!

It’s shocking to me that I have let so much time go by without communicating.

What’s more shocking is that I can’t even put my finger on big events to update you with… I can’t tell of big achievements that have happened in the last two years and the impact that I have made here….

It feels like yesterday that I arrived… can it really be over two years? Yet, as I look back on my first few months, where there was so much to comment about, I realise I was like a tiny and vulnerable little girl not having a clue about how to get in the swing of living here.

I look back and remember how lonely I felt, how clueless I was and how new and uncertain everything seemed. At least I can see a change in me from then till now…. maybe that is what I have to show for my time here!

So maybe progress is this… I completely underestimated what an adjustment it would be living in a different culture, and now I finally feel I am on the brink of understanding it and all the subtle differences that separate it from the culture I know. Its not the obvious differences which throw one, it’s all the unsaid rules and traditions that one can, without meaning to, blatantly offend someone, or get offended by. For example, I am daily told how fat I am, always with gesticulations comparing to the backside of a hippo… “Thanks!” but these days I don’t get offended I just laugh it off, realising it is meant as a compliment.  In fact this culture has made me realise that I must not take life so seriously.

 

It is also so nice to finally be known. White people stick out like a sore thumb and it is impossible to go anywhere without being chased by little children and a chorus of “Musungu” (meaning white person…)“ how are you-how are - how are you?- I’m fine!” but at least now the Musungu part is replaced with my name!

So greeting all the faces from fruit sellers to bicycle taxi men is just part of my morning walk to work. Sometimes in "English", sometimes in "Swahili" or sometimes in another of the many tribal languages.  Walking to work is normally a happy time, the warm sun and the smiling faces of people who have now become friends. Now and again they will say “ this one she is not a Musungu, she is an African” and it’s nice after feeling 'the odd one out' for so long, to finally be accepted.

 

I am so grateful to a few individuals who looked out for me when I first came, there were a few significant people who made a massive impact,  because if it were not for them, I don’t know if I would even have managed. They may have just bought me a soda or called me on the phone or popped by at the house to see how I was, but their timing was perfect and their actions and obedience to being prompted by God made all the difference.

I am encouraged that we have this ability to impact one another’s lives just by being there and being around and acting instinctively. I hope that that is what I am doing here. I know many people have made a big difference to my life by just being themselves and ‘coincidently’ (although I would call it God ) being at the right place at the right time. I have learned that being eager to encourage someone, in whatever way that may mean, can have a long and lasting effect, one which you yourself may never be aware of or never see the fruit from, I take encouragement from this because I hope that during my time here, so far, I have at least done a bit of that.

The evenings lately have been warm and the sky has been so clear that one can see so many stars.. I love evening time when it is the dry season -  one can smell the smoke in the air of people cooking on their charcoal Jikos or hear the crickets and sometimes some random Kenyan music on a tv or radio playing in the distance. It is that similar feeling to camping that one notices everyone settling down for the night. There is a sense of community and simplicity.

There really are some magical moments where one is taken aback by the beauty of this place or its people. These are moments that if not documented they are gone… and my last two years have been full of them - things such as little encounters which encourage one's heart, or a beautiful sunset that takes away one's breath for a second…For example everyday two little girls, in their school uniforms, march into the shop on the way home from school, they come and offer me their little hands to shake. “How are you?” they both ask in succession. No amount of times this happens seems to dilute their enthusiasm, as if each time is the first time they have ever asked, or the excitement they feel when I reply … and then, delighted, off they go until the next day. Now this is typically Kenyan and could be something seen as a pointless interference in your busy work day, or it could be one of the perks of living here and is something that I personally look forward to.

 

I have learned, as a discipline, to stop and look up once in a while… to stop and pause, to appreciate the moment I am in, to see the stars,  to shake a tiny child’s hand… if I don’t, life will still go on, valuable work will still get done, but without such, I may just miss a big blessing.

 

Well, I am going to make a conscious effort to write more, maybe just for myself so I don’t forget many of the blessings of this country. In the next week, I will be updating this page a lot with snippets of what has happened in the last few years.

Stuff achieved, lessons learned, friends made and hopefully, if memory doesn't fail, a few moments captured too.

Happy Easter

Last night I dreamt I bumped into my old school friend in the supermarket..

seemingly a very normal dream that gave me lots to think about today, since I am a million miles away from her, and that kind of lifestyle…

From school days, when my friend and I had so many similar dreams and interests, now our lives have turned out so different. In my dream, she was buying a steak for her husband and nappies for the baby, talking of dropping a few things in the trolley for their holiday away in a month’s time. Her son was so smartly dressed in all the designer baby gear and, as always, she looked beautiful and happy in the security of her lifestyle.

I woke up to another warm morning. It’s Easter Saturday, but doesn’t feel like it. The schools have all closed and so all the children are playing outside…Behind our banana trees, I can hear them loudly chanting African songs and the neighbour is burning her rubbish a few meters from where the children are playing, but despite the smoke and blatant fire hazard, they don’t take any notice. The cow is making her usual noise which sometimes sounds like a deep "moo" and sometimes almost something from Jurassic park, but the cow boy, about 9 years old, is doing a good job of looking after her as the cow chews on whatever greenery she can find. We normally get milk delivered from friend’s cows every day, but now, both of their cows have dried up due to lack of rain.

Again I am challenged that I am only used to complaining about the unpredictable weather because of how it affects my social plans and not my livelihood.

Today I think I will go and look for a place that we can plan to take all the children for a day trip on the school bus next week. IcFEM normally plans this exciting excursion every holiday (or exciting execution as someone advertised it in church last time) but the problem is that there are about 5 possible places to go in a 100k radius of western Kenya, and we have exhausted all our options on previous trips. We usually end up using the entire budget on fuel, since we have to travel so far and spend half the day on the bus, but this time I am thinking of a different approach.

There is a place that has just opened in Bungoma, our nearest big (ish) town about 40 minutes away from here. It has a grassy area and a playground. (ok the playground is hardly Alton towers, it has a slide and a climbing frame but that will be exciting for these kids) I realise that the children just need a treat and a change of scenery, so if we spend less on fuel we can go and use the play ground and then spend the rest on ‘Nyama choma’ ( roasted meat) for lunch which I am told is a very big deal instead of the plain dry bread we normally can afford. Then, if the budget allows we can even send someone to Bungoma to buy ice-cream. I think ice-cream will be such a treat as I am sure that the majority have never tasted it before and for about 25p each, that could keep these children chatting all weekend. My friend here suggested we could even take them into a supermarket in Bungoma for their day out, (“really a supermarket for a day out" I had  questioned….but apparently many have not seen one before)… my thoughts flashed back to my friend and her son in UK and again, I am reminded, as I am daily, how different life can be.

It seems strange to have an Easter without access to the usual chocolate eggs, it will be the 4th Easter I have spent in Kenya and I still cant really accept the lack of chocolate…. but our chickens are ever hatching new chicks and so, despite the lack of daffodils, we have that great reminder of the new life which God has enabled for us.

 

Happy Easter Everyone!